Playing with a blind sub

At my second munch I was asked what attracted me to the fetish scene. “If you don’t get the visual stimulus, it must be the psychological aspect that speaks to you?” was what one person asked me; and he was right.

Since then I have had some interesting playtimes some of which were, to be honest, learning curve experiences for me and the domme in question. Here are the main points:

Practicalities: I was very touched once when two dommes took great care to ensure that I didn’t bang my knee on a low-standing table as they manoeuvred me on to some kneeling stocks before giving me a real thrashing, one on each side! Another point is that many dungeons are down stairs; this is not to reinforce the time-honoured thing about blind people and steps (I have completed the Yorkshire 3 peaks challenge in under 12 hours); it’s more to do with the fact you might find it difficult to switch into dom mode if you’ve been navigating someone down steps, which in all probability, will be a first time experience for you.

This could mean that you have trouble getting going at the start of a play session, so a good way round things is to start in stages; a good trick used on me was to put handcuffs on me and then leave me for a while. Then I was taken to a playroom and left on my own attached to an a-frame for a bit longer; and then the play began. We both got into it better that way.

During play: Once a dom said to me “whoops, I tried to quell you with a fierce look just then!” It is important to realise that everything for a blind person comes through the voice and through touch. The right words said in the right tone close to the ear is a great weapon a dom can use when playing with a blind person. Likewise touch can convey reassurance or menace and is likely to be more effective than trying to paint mental verbal pictures the way some doms have told me they do.

Again being close or being at a distance is likely to make a difference; being close intensifies what is going on and is good for a climactic moment while being at a distance signals a change in the action or mood. If you wish to give a blind sub the feeling that you are totally in control then use ear plugs or muffs; this is far more suggestive of being immobile than being tied up; the effect is similar to a blindfold being put on a sighted person.

A few words on communication during play. Because a blind person’s hearing is generally better developed than a sighted persons they will detect things in a voice that a sighted person wouldn’t. This means that false threats won’t work; don’t threaten something in play unless there is a real possibility you might do it, because we will spot the fact that you don’t mean what you say. On the positive side, if you know how to use the voice you can get a real reaction with minimal effort.

You will maximise your own enjoyment if you make it very clear, both before and during play, what feedback you like; because we can only listen to rather than watch other’s play we are likely to be unaware of some signals which sighted players take for granted.